“When I was asked to write about why we made the choice to change our contraception method I enthusiastically said yes. The main reason is that I would really like to share our positive experience with this new method. Let’s start from the beginning. I used the pill for a long time to improve my skin complex. When I stopped taking the pill, since my husband and I were thinking about having children in the future, it took me a year before getting my period back. I felt very uncomfortable with this. Furthermore, I disliked putting all these extra hormones in my body anyway so I decided to stop. We decided to use condoms instead. We never really liked to use them as we needed to stop at a very intimate moment and there seemed to be less sensitivity so we never put it on straight away. Moreover, last year I converted to Catholicism due to a very strong experience that I have had. As I was on my path to become a Christian I decided to find out more about alternative methods. I was very curious, as I never understood how faith could be against contraception methods such as the condom.
When Freda explained to me the method she was clear and systematic. From her explanations it seemed clear to me that our bodies are so perfectly designed that if we would really listen and know our bodies we are actually infertile for a lot of the time. I have always preferred to understand my body than to fight against it. In the sense that if I would have a headache I would not take anything against it but I would rather try to understand why I got it in the first place. In my case often it meant I did not drink enough or should have had a rest.
The method does need commitment to make it a habit. There are moments there should be no sexual contact. This was very hard for us as we were used to have sex really often. Even after a nice evening out, sexual interaction was for me something that should happen to have real ‘successful’ night out. Many ‘side-effects’ followed. First of all we tried to find out more deeply what other things we both enjoyed without the sexual act. Secondly, the fact that we could not interact in this way for a few days or even just had to wait till the evening really increased the tension between us and in the end we really wanted one another. We started to become more grateful when we did have sexual interaction. Thirdly, I felt much more respected. I was not just a ‘sextoy’. Fourthly, an enormous pressure fell from our shoulders as we both had a tendency to feel/think that we had to do it and had to want each other every night. Now, on the days we were not ‘allowed’ we were cosy next to one another and could even have a nose strip on our nose. Something quite unthinkable before as it is a mood killer. All these consequences of using this method made us appreciate our sexual life in a completely different way and when we could we took the time and seem to be more thoughtful. Moreover it got us closer on completely different levels then sex. It is quite easy after having two kids to fall into a habit of thinking that as long as we have sex we are ok. We are happy we met this new method as it brought us closer and we found a new attitude towards sex that is more or less lost for most of us.“
“ Freda was amazing. She listened carefully to the clients' story and then, without being either technical or patronising, she gently explained the woman's cycle and the signs she should look out for that showed when she was at her most fertile. After a long period of facing the spectre of infertility, this couple are now expecting their first baby! ”— Joanna James, Care Centre Manager at LIFE Hounslow